So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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