wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My pussy is not your playground.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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