Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
