just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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