Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
