He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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