we made out on top of his cat.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize