I wanna passion pit in your ass
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.