And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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