Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos