this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"