I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
