I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
