He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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