ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Randomize
