I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
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I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
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Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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