How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
