So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
