Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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