he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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