I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
