i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
