Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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