What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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