do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
