Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
