i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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