K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
