I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
barbara walters just said penis...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
