Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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