My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
