my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
