I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize