Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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