I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
