We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
