Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
