If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
