Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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