New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
