can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
