he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
