new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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