found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
