So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
