No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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