How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
