id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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