I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
