and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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