from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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