Nicole vs. Life
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
