we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
