Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
