He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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