can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
