I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
