I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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