Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
