i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize