My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
pray to the hookup gods
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
