New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
