I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
