she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
