Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize