im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
