i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
