I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize